After winning an epic race against a thousand other sperms, I got the chance to live a second life.
As the victor of the race, I journeyed alone in a big, dark, almost circular shaped like space to claim my prize.
Later on I felt my body changing, I grew bigger, I could see my hands, feel the weight of my brain and started hearing voices of a woman who repeatedly say that she loves me and that she can’t wait to see and hold me. Hearing this made me feel excited to see how this woman looked like.
After more or less 270 days, a strong force dragged me out in the open. “The open” was really bright and it hurt my eyes so I cried like what I am, a baby. A man in white carried me and settled me in the arms of the woman whom I believe is the owner of the circular shaped like space that I temporarily inhabited. She had a really big smile drawn in her face that she seemed to be so happy to see me, she then gave me a kiss on the forehead that felt really nice and warm and vowed to protect me. I think that was the first time I felt happiness and love.
Eveytime she feeds me, wakes me up in the morning, bathes me, clean my poop, she always say that “mama loves you” and that she wanted me to call her mama. It sounded so easy when I uttered the words in my mind but when I got to say it “ma-ma” I sounded like a robot like bi-bop-bibip bi-bop-bibip (I felt humiliated for the first time) but mama didn’t care how robotic I sounded, she was just in glee to finally hear it from me. By the way, the word mama was not the first word I uttered but “lobot” which means BUTT in Cebuano. (don’t ask me why hehe)
4 years later I found out that the mama’s name was not mama (:0). It was JEAN but I still called her mama because mama Jean is a little bit long for me to say.
When I got in kindergarten, mom was always called by my teacher whom I forgot the name, I didn’t like her anyway, she wasn’t nice because I always pee in the hut of our school playground. (damn, urinating there was awesome it had the homie feel)
I thought she was going to scold me or something but instead she bought me ice-cream and congratulated me for leaving a ‘”mark” in school.
During my elementary years I became a more pain in the head, our service always had to wait longer for me, and my sister had to search the entire school just to find me playing chinese garter. My mom scolded me a lot! I thought she was going give me away but everytime she raises her voice on me and beat me with belt, she made me understand that she’s doing it because she loves me and that she wants me to be good. (I didn’t really understand the beating part because of course it friggin hurts! but I know mama was always good to me)
As more years passed, mom felt a little bit sad and a whole lot scared seeing me in my first year in highschool. She said that I grew a lot and that I was not a baby anymore and that she’d have to slowly let me make decisions of my own.
In college, I’ve had a lot of fights with mom. I found her too over protective that she’s choking me and that she always implied of me staying home on Saturdays. but she slowly changed and started to let go a bit. she started trusting me to the world, though not fully yet and I believe that she’ll always doubt the world for my safety. I understood her fears, fears that sprung out because she loved me and that she wanted to protect me.
Mama, thank you for everything. I really appreciate everything that you do for me, know that I’ll always love you too, Happy Mothers Day :*