The Dumper’s Defense ( Why We Shouldn’t Hate Dumpers)


There are Dumpers and Dumpees.

The Dumpers are the people who can change the relationship status of two individuals when the other one expressess his feelings.

The Dumpees, sadly, are the people who gets rejected by the Dumpers that is why people label the Dumpers either 1. fool 2. selfish bastard 3. heartbreaker.But they don’t really know how a Dumper thinks and feels when they dump the dumpees.

So here are some reasons why you should put down the voodoo doll and spare the Dumpers:



Dumpers are also dumpees

People forget that Dumpers aren’t dumpers all the time (unless they got a face like Brad Pitt and body like David Beckham then that may be possible).They too have loved someone and did reckless things after the rejection (drinking alcohol, starving one’s self, locked his/herself in his/her room, begged for a chance, cried like a pig about to be slaughtered and looked like an addict afterwards)

Being the Dumper is hard

Being the Dumper is not their ideal position to be, they might look cool when they reject you but on the inside, they’re going crazy cause they don’t know how to tell you “NO, I’M SORRY I DON’T FEEL THE SAME WAY, THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU BUT THERE’S ALREADY SOMEONE ELSE, YOU’RE JUST A FRIEND TO ME. SO PLEASE DON’T TRY TO CUT YOUR WRIST, DRINK POISON , CRASH YOUR CAR TO A THICK WALL OR JUMP OFF A BRIDGE BECAUSE OF ME” 

Blinded by the fact of being rejected, we fail to notice that they actually care a bit of what we feel.

Not all dumpers do it right

Some Dumpers opt to act harsh because 1. they want to cut the chase and give you a straight answer 2. being mean would give you a reason to hate them and push you to move on. 3. they don’t want to put you on friendzone because they know it’ll only be harder for you 4. being nice might only let you admire them more.

Dumpers don’t want to be dumpers
Dumpers don’t want to be dumpers especially when it’s a friend or someone they like but not like enough. This the hardest scenario a Dumper could face.

We don’t have control over them
You cannot choose who you love neither the person you fell in love with.

Dumpers get hurt like the dumpees
Someone will get hurt even if the Dumper pretends not to know the dumpee’s feelings and because they can’t stop the pain to occur they get hurt too.



I’m not trying to take anybody’s right to express their feelings on the Dumpers. I just want everyone to know the Dumper’s point of view and try to make them less hateful.

P.S. I got the term ‘Dumper and Dumpee’ from the famous author of the books The Fault In Our Stars and Looking for Alaska, John Green :)))




  1. Smartest thing I’ve ever read about the topic. Dumpers get a bad rap because they are the ones taking the initiative (and, of course, sometimes they do it meanly). We like to think we are the victims, but maybe we are also just scared to take action? It’s a tough job. Respect to respectful dumpers!

  2. I’ve never been dumped. I’ve always dumped. And it was either because I was being lied to/cheated on, or I didn’t feel as strongly about the person as they felt about me. So sometimes dumping is out of respect, it’s just honest, even if it hurts. And though I never have been dumped, I’d have chosen that over being cheated on, definitely.

  3. What a novel and fair-minded idea for a post. Was the dumped once, and “sucked” doesn’t begin to cover it. Have been the dumper more, and felt terrible for the dumpees–except the one abuser. Tried to dump as well as possible, but while there are awful ways, there are no good ways.

  4. Many years back an ex-girlfriend wondered why I hadn’t received my “Dear John” letter from her. Four years later, having got lost in the postal system, it arrived at my then military duty station, covered with about 20 postal stamped dates. It made for some interesting reading. Cool post.

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